I started a family tree a couple of days before Valentine's Day last month. While I attempted to connect the dots of all the parts of myself, I was reminded very quickly of my family's sad and graven beginnings in this country. I topped my convoluted searching off with a reading of "The Ways of White Folks", by Langston Hughes, so I was in a very, shall I say, "reflective" mood. In the midst of processing all of the different emotions I was experiencing, I came across a news story that struck an undeniable cord within me, which changed my inwardly pensive thoughts to ones of a more extroverted nature.
The news story told of a teacher in a northern suburb of Chicago IL, who was being chastised for showing her 5th grade students a film about slavery. Some of the parents in this community were outraged, and wanted the teacher removed. Allegedly, they were not asked to grant permission to their children for the viewing of this film.
One gentleman of a 9 year old who attends the class, gave an interview to reporters and his words are what really made this story compelling for me. He spoke of how those 5th graders were shown things in the film that he didn't even think a sophomore in high school should see. He used phrases like, "My daughter's innocence is gone" and, "I wanted to be the one to decide when she could handle that knowledge" and, "It was the worst of the worst of humanity".
My first reaction was a curt dismissal of his opinions. My mind at that time was filled with grievous cognition over recognizing my own family's piece of the distasteful history of this country. It was also unclear to me whether or not the parents wanted the teacher removed because she showed the film, or because she didn't ask the parents for permission. I understand asking permission to show students violent content, but this is the history of our country. The moments without violence in ANY country's history are few and far between, so what is the real meaning behind this course of action that this gentleman and his cohorts are suggesting? In reference to the teacher, I believe she should simply be reprimanded for not contacting the parents to explain her intention. As for the parents, it is a cold hard fact that you will not always be in control of when and /or what you child is learning. Glossing over a subject such as slavery, in all cases where it occurs, is not fair or compassionate to the group of people it affects. All you can do is be at the ready to explain. I ALWAYS tell my son the truth, in the most age appropriate, and least emotionally damaging manner I can muster. I do this in hopes that he will hold no fear of the truth, but live by it, and seek the truth, as he becomes a man. I also do this to prepare him for the ugly. One of those ugly things being the wretched beginnings of this country, and the reverberating affects on our present experiences.
A very good friend of mine once described what she thought it was like being a parent. "It's like pulling your heart right out of your chest, and letting it run around with all of its vulnerability exposed, and hoping that you have placed enough strength within it, so that when someone or some circumstance kicks it, it will continue beating." Parenting in this day and age is truly a heart-wrenching experience. As parents, we all dread the instances when we have to reveal yet another atrocious certainty of our existence to our children.
I am a firm believer in the practice of empathy. I most certainly have empathy for this man and his feelings of discomfort of the subject of slavery. His mind accepts the knowledge of it, but his heart will not accept the torment of the knowledge of it, and I believe the majority of us feel the same. You don't have to be a parent to feel the throbbing of that verifiable wound. We all either experience or witness the reecho of that history in our modern day to day.
My hope is that we, the adults, can begin a dialog presently, that will bring us healing, and show our children that they can create a less burdensome history for the future generations.
